The second verbal act to be avoided is sowing discord, either secretly or openly. Creating conflict within a Sangha through sowing discord may be the most detrimental example. The importance of the Sangha in relation to the Buddha and the Dharma cannot be understated. It is within the Sangha that the teachings of the Buddha have been passed down and continue to be practiced.
The word Sangha means community – we all share a common goal of learning and practicing the Dharma in order to benefit sentient beings. Rinpoche has admonished us on numerous occasions to treat each other like a loving family, showing kindness, consideration and respect to one another. Harmony and cooperation are essential, and by relying upon each other we improve ourselves. When we practice together, our capacity is amplified.
Many times, sowing discord can be unintentional – a result of speaking before we think. Once again our indispensable old friend mindfulness is necessary. Once again Rinpoche’s advice to examine our motivation before speaking is key. What are we trying to accomplish with these words? What effect could our words have on others? Are we creating harmony or conflict with our words? Is this the right time and the right person to discuss this issue with?
Should another Sangha member say something which is upsetting to us, we can use the opportunity to work on our own afflictive emotions. This may well be our very best Dharma friend!
Let us reflect on the importance of harmony with our spiritual sisters and brothers. We have a very precious Sangha, we are all so very blessed to have each other to practice with.
Love you all,
Sarah
#1 by Nancy on August 3, 2010 - 7:47 PM
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Upon 1st hearing these teachings and contemplating on them, I became aware that my behavior was not one of sowing harmony on a continual basis nor on a most of the time basis. My MO before was to avoid people that upset me or “to put them in their place” by telling them where they were wrong or by telling others what they did and how they were wrong. After 1st hearing these teachings and knowing it was very important for our Sangha I worked hard on not having any hard feelings towards those that upset me. It took time and lots of attention but some of the people that in the past I would have cut out of life are now an essential part of it. I am so grateful for this teaching because it has changed me. Thinking before I speak is much better than it ever has been but still one that takes mindfulness on my part on a moment by moment basis. For me my idle chatter is where I get in the most trouble….I get to talking and don’t remember to think before I speak.
#2 by Yontan on August 4, 2010 - 2:33 PM
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This one gets trickier the bigger a sangha gets, and/or the closer you get to the teacher. It’s always a mess, but provides many wonderful opportunities to check one’s motivation, humility and attempts at pure vision. Many divisions within a sangha seem to come from a place of wanting to help fix things, right wrongs, but lack the skill. Often the things themselves are not critical for the progress of the group and can just be left alone to resolve themselves (or not.) Often the things relate to someone wanting more power or wanting someone in power to come down of a (real or imagined) high horse.
There’s an idea, a fantasy, of the sangha always being in harmony, but samsara is still samsara and if we were not in samsara we would not need a sangha. The fact that there is discord is evidenced by the fact that we include in our aspirations the wish for the sangha to be in harmony. My point here is that if we let go of the “need” for harmony then when things get a little hairy, out of wack, that sense of urgency isn’t there, and we can find the space to think before speaking/acting. In that space we may learn something about ourselves that needs “fixing,” and find it’s better to just hold our tongue.
Years ago there was a very basic and seemingly insurmountable rift between two very active sangha members within my group. I certainly had my own idea about who was the “more right” and who was being more stubborn, but it seemed like taking sides would just push this other person out of the circle. I talked with my teacher about how I might help, what could be done, how they felt about the situation, etc. He must have seen how troubled I was, because instead he just talked about how trouble isn’t always trouble and things didn’t always have to be peachy. These two never did seem to work it out in particular, but they did find ways to keep their intention on the group, the teacher, the teaching, etc., and let go of some of the conflicting ideas they were holding onto.
The group is doing very well many years later.
I believe the origins of this precept lies in Devadatta’s attempt to take over the sangha about a year before the Buddha passed. He was motivated by jealousy and pride, something to keep in mind when thinking on this topic.
Here is an excellent account of his story:
http://nichirenscoffeehouse.net/Ryuei/Devadatta_Story.html
#3 by Clotilde Wright on August 6, 2010 - 7:56 AM
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I think the Buddhist community is a great place to practice mindfulness and healthy communication. I think everyone is trying to apply what they are learning and is working on becoming more compassionate. When an afflictive emotion does arise then its my job to apply the teachings to deal with it. I’ve found Kuntuzangpo’s prayer to be helpful at times in this regard.
I remember Rinpoche saying that he had heard some Sangha’s have a reputation for being arrogant and that’s something he absolutely wanted to avoid in ours. For one thing arrogance puts a distance between you and your fellow sentient beings, and might make someone feel unwelcome. I think our Sangha has been good so far in avoiding this pitfall. Personally, I don’t know what part of “working for the benefit of all sentient beings” would cause someone to be arrogant, but it does happen.
And I think its important in the future if we do notice someone behaving in a way that we feel isn’t “good”, that we let it go. Its not our job to fix it. Like Rinpoche said, “don’t worry about other people” which he said in a context of, don’t let other people bother you, or don’t get fixated on the behavior of others. We can only work on our own minds.
#4 by benz convertible on September 30, 2010 - 10:26 PM
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Very good article, poetically written and totally meditating out.