Patrul Rinpoche describes covetousness and wishing harm on others as the first two of three mental acts to be avoided. Within coveting, he includes even the slightest thoughts about gaining the possessions of others. Possessions can be considered not only material wealth but also accomplishments, status, relationships, or power. Wishing harm on others is more than hoping for something negative to befall our perceived enemy. We may also rejoice when something bad happens to them, or become disgruntled when something good happens to them.
Covetousness and wishing harm on others seem to go hand in hand. They bring to mind words like greed, envy, jealousy, malice, competition, rivalry and resentment. These all imply a strong sense of self-attachment and the placement of one’s own needs and desires above those of others. Hope and fear govern these actions – where is the equanimity?
The false belief characteristic of coveting is that acquiring one thing or another will bring happiness, security, or validation of who we think we are. We all know too well the feeling of wanting something so badly, finally getting that precious thing, and then the inevitable letdown afterwards. There is always something else, one more thing and if we could just have that, then we will be happy. We are habitually seeking happiness outside of ourselves through external means, rather than realizing that true happiness is found within. Worldly happiness is fleeting at best and shackles us to samsara.
Taking joy in the misfortune of others, aka Schadenfreude, may be a reflection of our uncomfortable self esteem issues, which are lessened when we see others suffering along with us, or “instead” of us. Others hardship sets us apart and seems to confirm our specialness. We may have adverse feelings towards others because we perceive that they have slighted us in some way. Or perhaps in judging others we have come to the conclusion that they are deserving or undeserving. Either way, we are setting ourselves apart and wanting to be special. It seems to be rather the opposite of compassion!
Cultivating appreciation of our current situation is important. With proper understanding of and belief in karma, we can be certain that our own and others ever changing situation is the result of causes and conditions based upon the actions of one’s body, speech and mind. We can also reflect upon the unsatisfactory nature of samsara, the inevitable suffering of all sentient beings. Rinpoche has advised us to frequently reflect upon impermanence.
In what situations do you have a tendency to find yourself coveting or wishing harm on others? What methods do you use to develop satisfaction and appreciation of your own circumstance?
Metta,
Sarah
#1 by Angela Tsultrim on August 21, 2010 - 9:24 PM
Quote
Boy, I am so guilty of this and I do it in a way that is using Dharma to make it okay in my mind which makes me feel like a sick person. Whenever I am treated badly or unkindly, I think, ‘just wait till their karma catches up with them, boy are they going to know what it is to suffer.’….yikes, I’m so sick. I should be thinking, ‘I’ll take on whatever suffering they are accruing by their acts of being mean to another sentient being, may all their bad karma’s ripen in me and may they not suffer even a half of a hairs worth in hell.’ I think there should be a Buddhist hospital and anyone suffering from these sick afflictions should be able to be admitted into the ER. You just call 911 and say, “Quick, it is an emergency, I have a bad, chronic case of harmful thoughts, take me away!” and you could stay 3 or 4 days and be monitored and labwork could be drawn up and the Bodhisattva doctor would come in and say “you need to do this amount of this mantra and take 4.5 mg of dutsi twice a day and steer clear of bad thoughts, they clog the arteries.” and off you go, new lease on life. Alas …far too easy.
#2 by Yontan on August 22, 2010 - 1:06 AM
Quote
Seems a big part of the harm is (as Sarah alluded) simply this buying-into of the idea that this thing or situation is going to make you any better. This wheel of samsara just keeps spinning, and we’ve all had countless turns up in the god realm, but it just isn’t sustainable. If the key is to really “light the fire” of renunciation, then whatever it is you catch yourself coveting is either going to suck you further into the whirlpool, or poke that soft spot that wakes you up and reminds you to swim away. These things we covet are poison, aren’t they? Of course no, it isn’t the thing itself that has a characteristic of poison, but because our mind is drawn to it, and it acts as the outer condition for our grasping/craving, our relationship with it is poison. Those of us with a really good life, find little reason to practice dharma: this is the curse of the god realm. If it then acts further as a cause for actually wishing negativity on another, it becomes a double-poison.
In fact, it would seem that the chasing of possessions (whether those of another or not) is actually a bit of running after false refuges. The true Triple Gem (outer, inner and essential) is fully present and available right now, to your ordinary self, faults and shortcomings and all. When we sit, for instance, we’re using the abundant fresh manure we already have in our own mind, no need to look elsewhere. These covetings give us the chance to make that choice of either falling deeper or rousing our commitment, and take refuge on the spot. Lucky for us, these opportunities abound!!!
I agree that satisfaction with and appreciation of your circumstance can lessen the bite of coveting, but to hit the heart of the problem I find it much more helpful to do just as Sarah mentioned, and cultivate that awareness and conviction of dukkha, dissatisfaction with existence, the chasing after and running from temporary states. This actually implies a very hardcore “DISsatisfaction and appreciation of your circumstance.” Things are not good. Even if we’ve travailously carved out a cozy cushion to rest on, the wind and clock are eroding it from beneath us. The only real laurels are made of rainbows.
It isn’t surprising then, that a key to all of this would be bodhicitta: the deep desire to save others is concomitant with the rooted grasp of dukkha; without it where would you find any motivation much less any wisdom about how to help. When I catch myself wanting something someone else has, I try to take the opportunity to rejoice in their merit, and feel thanks that there’s a small piece of bodhiwork I don’t have to do. If I can’t manage that then at least I can contemplate the impermanence of the object, as well as the sense of pleasure it would bring me, and turn toward enlightenment again with a little freshness.
Funny how so much of the struggle with these ten negative actions is deflated with the basic elements of mindfulness, renunciation, refuge and bodhicitta. I should write those four down somewhere.
#3 by Clotilde Wright on August 22, 2010 - 8:12 AM
Quote
In terms of hope and fear, I’m reminded of these lines from the Sufi poet ‘Attar: “Do not boast when the wheel of fortune swings you aloft; another twirl will land you on the bottom mark.” Thinking about this can be a good antidote for pride or despair.
Yontan alluded to the fact that hardship can turn you towards the dharma. So, I suppose we could be grateful for hardship when it comes. That also makes me think about the idea of not judging our experience as “good or bad”. Like the Zen story where the farmer’s son has the “misfortune” of breaking his arm, but then has the “fortune” of not being drafted into the army and killed. We can’t know the workings of karma.
This can be helpful to contemplate when envious:
“Through Kuntuzangpo’s prayer, when jealousy and competitive thoughts arise/ Do not grasp them as enemies/ Just relax in ease, then consciousness can hold its own natural state/ May you achieve the wisdom of unobstructed action!”
#4 by Chris Lemig on August 24, 2010 - 10:02 AM
Quote
For me, non-virtuous actions of the mind are certainly the most difficult to work with. I’m sure that’s the experience of many people.
It seems to me like this whole list is one that progresses in difficulty as I move along the path. For example, I feel reasonably certain that I’m not going to intentionally kill another sentient being today (though someday I’ll share the story of how I squashed a lady bug while doing prostrations one morning…). I’m not planning on stealing from anyone or sleeping with another person’s partner. I’m going to try very hard to be truthful, to not blabber a bunch of silly nonsense or to talk about people who aren’t present. I’m also going to try to speak as gently and kindly as I possibly can.
But I am equally certain that I am, without any doubt, going to have many thoughts of anger and jealousy and maybe even hatred today. Someone is going to walk into my restuarant at five minutes to closing time and I’m going to grit my teeth and throw a little tantrum in my mind. I’m going to really dislike that person and call them all sorts of names under my breath.
Maybe too, someone is going to tell me how much money they won on their vacation in Las Vegas, or that they just bought a shiny new car that has air conditioning and new tires and automatic windows that actually work and gets fifty miles to the gallon. I’m almost certain that my first thought will NOT be “Good for you!”
But still, as we’ve alluded to here, all of these little eruptions in my mind are going to be opportunities for me to take a look at what’s really going on there, at what my true situation is. If I am really very careful and mindful I will see that all of these thoughts of wanting and not-wanting are equally illusory and fleeting.
Honestly, as a beginner in this practice, I’m not really sure what that means. All I know is that by putting in the tiny effort that I have into all of this, that I am at least a little more likely to be able to turn my mind away from it’s old patterns of me vs. the world. And so when that person tells me about her good fortune or orders her burger when I’m ready to go home I might actually think: “Hey kind mother, I am so happy for you, what can I do for you?”
And if nothing else, that makes me feel a whole lot better than I ever have before.
#5 by Yontan on August 24, 2010 - 10:35 AM
Quote
Awesome thoughts Chris.
I agree, it’s not particularly reasonable or helpful for us to try and force our minds to NOT have these thoughts, but when they arise, if we are committed to refraining, then it gives us a chance to look into why we are having the thought. I suppose it’s an admirable achievement, being able to control one’s mind with sheer heavy-handed willpower, but if we can use the moments as wake-ups, follow them backward to the point where we remember that a) what that person has is not something I need [all compounded phenomena entail suffering] and b) this person’s happiness makes my work of serving others that much lighter for the moment, then renunciation and refuge can bring us back to this basic spot above our shoes, where everything is perfectly poised, bringing our karma to fruition, erupting more bodhicitta, relaxing into the dance of the path.
It’s interesting to look at our belief in luck/fortune. If we really buy this idea of karma, we can’t accept anything — even the smallest event — as being simply coincidence; in the same way, we can never think we’ll actually “get away” with anything. When this person comes into your restaurant at 5 till, of course our first thought is: “Why now? Why me? Why this?” and we imagine all of the OTHER ways this evening might have gone. If karma is cause and effect and every effect is made from a cause, then really your life can be no other way than it is right now.
[Aside: we avoid fatalism by realizing that the NEXT moment is certainly dependent on what we do now, even if our past actions must undeniably bear their fruit.]
So: here’s is your life. In the big picture, we want to establish everyone in happiness, and are committed to going to hell a billion times over for that purpose, so our immediate plans and goals really become kind of like a joke. Especially when our perspective includes many-many lifetimes of service. Further, that feeling of self-importance, needing “MY time” is tied inextricably with the very root of our suffering. Coming across this tendency in our mind is actually like finding a little treasure out of nowhere. Thich Nhat Hanh mentions this in the context of meditation, that when we notice our mind straying, it’s actually a cause for delight, since we’ve always been straying, but haven’t noticed; now that we notice, we can improve. It’s the same thing here.
This stuff is covered very well in 3rd Dodrupchen Khyabje Tenpa’i Nyima’s text on transforming suffering into the path. If anyone hasn’t read it (two or five times!), I highly recommend it.
#6 by Yontan on August 24, 2010 - 10:37 AM
Quote
Found a translation of Dodrupchen’s text online; hopefully it’s apropos to our discussion:
http://www.lotsawahouse.org/tshe.html
#7 by Yontan on August 24, 2010 - 8:17 PM
Quote
I’m going to drive this point a little further, if only because it really resonates with me in day to day situations. Wanting what someone else has is not a problem; we all admire things another has, appreciate others’ qualities or possessions. It’s when the line is crossed to actually wanting those things to be taken from someone and given to you that we say “covetousness.” The root of this involves either wanting something we don’t deserve or else feeling that we don’t have what we deserve. Neither of these is appropriate for one who believes in the infallibility of cause and effect, of actions producing results.
Rather we have no choice but to acknowledge that we do not deserve that possession (what have you) and suck it up. Even in a worldly mindset, we have to start from this point and then attempt to set in motion the causes that bring about having that. (As followers of the Buddha hopefully we see the futility of these sorts of projects.)
Would you say that wishing harm is also tied to a lack of faith in karma?
#8 by Julie on August 24, 2010 - 10:31 PM
Quote
A bunch of years ago, while going through a divorce, I seriously came close to infesting my soon-to-be ex’s lawn with bermuda grass seed. He was a lawn ranger; primped and fussed over every blade. He loathed bermuda grass.
I am certainly glad that I did not, on many different levels…!
I have been jealous of others for most of my life; I always saw others as being more lovable, self-confident, appealing than myself. I have finally learned that my projections drove my life. As I was not loving, I was thereby unlovable. Karma actually turns in a very, very short circle, as close as the next facial expression, the body language of opening up or shutting down. I have read that scientists think that our brains are hardwired to each other by subtle visual signals; our brains are communicating with each other long before we open our mouths (see Dan Siegal). It makes sense to me; I have never been able to ‘fake’ detachment about the good fortune of others.
In a particularly miserable part of my life, I read about meditation on the four immeasurables for the first time, from Sharon Salzberg. I tried it on a person who was difficult for me at the time. It worked almost immediately; it added breathing space to a very tense situation. A new Buddhist was created.
Somewhere along the line I made an incredible discovery…genuinely rejoicing in the good fortunes of others actually costs me nothing and has no positive or negative effect on my own fortunes. I either believe in karma or I don’t. So yes, Yontan, on another level it does seem like a lack of faith in karma that would give permission to indulge in envy. After all, if the workings of karma are beyond my little mind, why would I question or resent the positive ripening for another?
Feeling the motion of jealousy, and mindfulness of the tightness it creates in my body are clues. If I pay attention. There are situations that can come zipping in under my radar of mindfulness and ZING! there I am back in the middle of it. And then to notice, to softly disentangle my kitten claws of envy from the fabric of equanimity yet again…
#9 by Angela Tsultrim on August 25, 2010 - 1:33 PM
Quote
All of these discussions have caught me in a catch 22. I was thinking about a person whom I am having difficulties with right now, and started to dive deep into negativity about the person, and I thought/caught, wait a minute, wish them super-uber happines right now, so I did, it was completely robotic, feeling no sincerity about it whatsoever, and I did it again, wished the person super happiness again, still pretty inauthentic, then I did it again, and again, until, shazam, I really wanted that person to be happy with all of my heart and have the best of everything to the multiple of 1000, everyday having it increase ten-fold until they became Buddha’s with their own purelands to watch over, etc, etc. Then I had this thought-if our difficulties purify us and our good karmas get burnt up when we use them, should I really be wishing this person so much wonderfulness. So would it not be better to wish this person to have everything that is purifying on them so they can attain Buddhahood more quickly … kind of stuck right now, not sure what avenue to take on this. I’m probably going to stick with the wishing of lasting happiness on the person, because it feels better in my mind, but just occurred to me, which way is fastest way to lasting happiness, purification way or good tidings way, maybe it is best right now to cut through the easy way and the hard way, into emptiness. Hmmm…..
#10 by Yontan on August 25, 2010 - 6:18 PM
Quote
That’s awesome Angela. Do you think your wishes will prevent them from experiencing the ripening of their karma?
Most important would seem to be how we relate to others. We can’t control another’s life, but when we look at them we can do so with loving-kindness and aspiration for their benefit, or from self-centered clinging to hope/fear, etc.
In fact, your aspirations are joining this person’s karmic stream, so in a way we are influencing their future, for good or bad, but one could say that this person’s meeting you and that being a cause for you to wish this on them was in fact their karma!
[thinks to self: that probably made the waters even less clear. Oh well....]
#11 by Clotilde Wright on August 26, 2010 - 8:39 AM
Quote
One thing that I notice about my mind that I have to work with (thanks in large part to my father’s communist rantings when I was a child
is that I get stuck a lot on getting angry at inequalities I see in the world.
I guess that relates to covetousness in that the focus is on noticing what others have or don’t have (money, leisure, power). Nothing can get my negative juices flowing more than (for example) thinking about how people at the top in a corporation make so much money while the people at the bottom make so little. My line of thinking is, “OK it is causes and conditions coming together that put that person in the position of scrubbing a toilet for 6$ an hour, but if that other person wasn’t so damn greedy they wouldn’t have to suffer like that!”
Of course, thinking about this doesn’t help anybody, but nevertheless it still pops in my head from time to time. And I think it relates to trying to have control over something that I have no control over. I only have control over my own mind and my choices and actions (darn it). And again it comes down to trusting in the laws of karma and Buddha nature and having compassion for everyone involved.
#12 by Angela Tsultrim on August 26, 2010 - 6:50 PM
Quote
I don’t really know how my wishes or prayers have any control or effect over anybody. I don’t have a pray-o-meter to know. I can only gauge my own mind, it is true, and to wish lasting happiness on a being, especially one who has offered great stress for me to deal with (keyword: offered), it makes my mind more expansive, so I should probably stick with it. The only reason I am wondering is because, once, one of my Lama’s asked a very close student how she was doing one day during a retreat and she said, “Oh, Rinpoche I am doing great!!” and my Lama got slightly wrathful face to her and said, “I don’t do so good when you are so great.” This was simply relayed to me and I was not there to get any more of the nuances that were happening at the time, but after I read a book that was translated by Lama Zopa, “Transforming Suffering into Happiness,” that talks all about the benefits of suffering, it dawned on me, what he could have meant by that. I am by far at the stage where I wish for an enemy in my life like finding a golden treasure, but they certainly are purifying, no matter what stage one is at. So it still makes me wonder, wouldn’t wishing purification (suffering) times on somebody be far more sensible then rainbows, butterflies and unicorns. To want to wish hardships on someone almost seems like a dangerous place to tread with my mind, but then if I am wishing someone to go have wonderful, amazing karmas, it’s almost as if I am wishing on them suffering because I am wishing for all of their good karmas to get burned up quickly, and what comes next, after good karmas are burnt up, as Chloe pointed out the sufi poet said, ‘another twirl and you land on the bottom mark.’ I am even beginning to worry about the fortunate things that happen in my everyday life, just like finding a quarter, I think, “oh lucky me, found a quarter,” and then I think, “just burned up some good money karma.” Pretty sure I am not at the level to be asking/praying for bad karmas to come my way, but that way of thinking sure does make a whole lot of sense now. I think I’ll just pray to be ready to pray for bad karmas to come my way. I better stop writing, I’m getting too neurotic.
#13 by Yontan on August 26, 2010 - 7:58 PM
Quote
LOL You’re amazing Angela! Thanks so much for your input.
When we wish for others’ happiness, it’s just that – the best we can imagine. It sounds like you have a deeper understanding about what real happiness would be, so you can wish *that* on them.
Suffering doesn’t produce purification anyway. Otherwise, hellbeings would be leaping into the dharmata, right? It’s wisdom and method that bring purification, and that can come when someone hands you a stinkbomb or an ice cream cone.
Maybe we should wish upon others “the total purification of all negativity in the most pleasant way possible, and the complete blossoming of all positive qualities in the most effortless way possible.”
#14 by Angela Tsultrim on August 26, 2010 - 10:59 PM
Quote
That is a good way to wish, Yontan. However, I do recall the Buddha before he was a Buddha, as an ox in hell, he was in tremendous suffering and he had compassion for another ox and took that ox’s load and got beat for it and then, poof, he was reborn in the god realms. So, I suppose his compassion was the purifying agent, but would he have achieved it without such intensity? Perhaps that suffering was his catalyst? Also, I was thinking, maybe rainbows, butterflies & unicorns would be great suffering to someone else … maybe I should think of other delights, like whiskey, raunchy women (or men) and heavy metal… I suppose I should be alittle more open minded about others desires and wishes. I think I’ll leave it to the Lama’s to be the ones to wish for us to go through purification or not and just stick with wishing for others to be happy with whatever floats their boat.
#15 by Clotilde Wright on August 27, 2010 - 6:59 AM
Quote
I wanted to clarify my earlier comment, I think that if I am able to get to the point where I can wish for the happiness of someone who I see is suffering (underpaid worker for example) than I think it is possible that through prayer or meditation with the proper motivation this can be of benefit.
However, I tend to get stuck in the afflictive emotions (anger) fueled by thoughts and it is this state of negativity that I think is unhelpful and needs to be abandoned.
#16 by Angela Tsultrim on August 27, 2010 - 7:44 AM
Quote
I agree. Wishing good times on someone (using proper motivation) must be a two way street, benefit for oneself and others. Our own minds get spacious and loving and the prayers we send towards another can help remove obstacles. I think of when the Lama’s pray for me or when monks and nuns or fellow laypersons offer the chance to remove obstacles for others through practices, it really works. It is tremendously inter-related. That is why I am so intrigued yet wary about wishing purification on someone, because it really seems like the purification would really cut through more then just one past instance of bad karma’s, of course, is the person I am wishing that on, skilled enough to cut through, that I will not know. I do know that when I have tough times and I am able to practice through it without creating more bad karma’s, I know for sure something is being laid to rest, or exhausted even, so it almost seems like the purification/hard times are more beneficial for me then the warm, fuzzy times so why wouldn’t I want others to have the same …. I think this is one that needs to be put before the Lama for further clarification. I mean, how can I, at the level I am at, think that my prayers are that effective, however on the other hand, simply being a human with a mind, they are still effective. Something feels like a powerful tool that has been found and it could be used for goodness or the opposite.
#17 by Yontan on August 27, 2010 - 9:30 AM
Quote
I would just like to request, on record, that you NOT wish rainbows and unicorns on me.
…Just sayin’….
I should suppose I, too, should clarify what I was saying: definitely suffering on its own is no remedy for confusion, but since the main culprit to the continuance of this whirlpool is the futile attempt of grasping at happiness and running from sadness, caused by a belief in the actual existence of things (such as “me” and “safety” and “problems” and location of any of these, and the notion we can take the self from the bad over to the good and keep it there, etc.) — given that, then yeah, when the inevitable suffering arises, it gives us the chance to confront the reality. “Goodness” (the warm, fuzzy happy-place kind) on the other hand can actually be used to validate and strengthen the idea that we can indeed create/achieve some sort of good and secure seat in this world.
— No arguments there.
BUT, on the subject of covetousness, when we find ourselves actually wanting someone else’s something, if that thing makes them temporarily happy, we can rejoice in them having that (among all of the miserable things in the world, to have at least this moment of pleasure) and at the same time realize that our having it would just be an obstacle even beside the stealing or taking aspect. When we actually do get a hold of our neighbor’s ass, we end up spending all our time cleaning up the shit. [ahem]
I’d like to hear more about why wishing good on others must be a two-way street. My thought is that even alone on an island, the thought of wishing others good is going to make our mind more flexible and expansive, peaceful and generous. This is its own benefit, which of course extends to all of your relations once you get off the island and go to the store or whatever.
I’m convinced that those with high realization can focus their attention on someone and truly, directly affect that person’s life; bu8t our aspirations don’t need to rely on anything mystical or subtle. Simply transforming our own mind can be a tremendous benefit to others. Imagine if 10% of the world spent 10% of their day wishing super-happy fuzzy goodness on all beings, how the world would change. Nothing to do with siddhis.
Cloe, I think you have hit a very important point on the head: wishing well on others can get sullied by the wish to take it from the ones that already have happiness. The realist might look at it from a closed-system economy perspective and think: well, with this many resources the only way for everyone to be satisfied.
But that kind of setup is still completely stuck in the samsaric cycle, and “fairness” rarely equals happiness for anyone. If everything compounded entails suffering, then to really wish real happiness on others really implies a happiness beyond the compounded. Also, in the Buddhist tradition we acknowledge countless worlds, some of which are completely pure and abundant, each created by the karma of its inhabitants. With that thought we can wish everyone be born in the purerealm where there really is no lack, and good doesn’t have to be taken from someone to give to someone else. Just because the world we ourselves have created has so much lack and need in it doesn’t mean they all do/will.
I still think, however, that all of this analysis of the real nature of happiness shouldn’t get in the way of what is basically a simply and effective tool to change our attitude, wishing others happiness, both temporary and sustainable, in whatever way they wish. The “playing god” part of knowing what’s good for them, or somehow impeding their karma by giving them good things, it’s really just overconceptualization.
I, too will just stick to “wishing for others to be happy with whatever floats their boat.”
#18 by Julie on August 27, 2010 - 10:35 PM
Quote
Conservation of happiness…I hope that is not one of the laws of metaphysics!
I remember having this thought when doing the Medicine Buddha practice–where we wish for all the various beings not to have illness and so forth. I wondered, “Can this prayer really short-circuit the ripening of karma in another being?”
I’m getting a little trapped in circular logic. I realized some time ago that the main point of a prayer is not to change the will of an unknowable deity (or change a person’s karma) but to change the heart and mind of the person who is praying.
I spent some time trying to come to a position of equanimity with our immediately preceding President. It was difficult, and I am not sure yet that I have mastered it, however, I have to bow deeply to karma and dependent arising and realizing that my addition of anger into the mix will not make anything better.
I remember hearing a CD where a woman asked Pema Chodron about how to work with her feelings about her brother, who was abusive during her childhood. She could not generate loving-kindness for him.
Pema’s reply was along the following lines: If the brother were to be truly happy and free from suffering, he would know what suffering he had caused you. In fact, the only way for him to appreciate the actual suffering he had caused is from a place to true happiness and freedom of suffering.
If nothing else, a person free from the suffering of samsara would behave in a different way. Rich or poor, criminal and CEO…all are caught in samsara’s web. This is my aspiration, though it doesn’t sometimes stop me from pounding my head on my desk and muttering “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
#19 by Angela Tsultrim on August 27, 2010 - 11:52 PM
Quote
The two way street theory is when we pray/wish happiness on others we get the benefit of expanding our minds and then, coming back, at us would be the merit of doing that positive mind activity and if it does effect an individual then I guess it is a three ways street. It is true, we can only take care of our own minds, but the power of prayer & wishes can intervene on more occasions then not. I’m living proof, you wouldn’t believe how many times I have asked my Lama’s to pray for me, and I ride a unicorn to work everyday now. Just kidding, but, I have felt the influence of their prayers on a very noticeable level, and not just Lama’s but fellow practitioner prayers as well.
#20 by Yontan on August 28, 2010 - 12:48 AM
Quote
Thank you Angela. I get what you’re saying.
BTW, I believe with you that prayer and wishes do have a more subtle effect on our world; it just seemed important to point out that whether one believes in that or not, or sees its effect, the benefit of aspirations on a very basic personally-transformative way is still there.
Julie, thanks for that story of Pema Chodron. That helps.
About the short-circuit, might it be that you coming along and generating compassion and well-wishing does actually help ripen someone’s negative karma?
What if someone is stuck on the side of the road, and you help them change a flat. Is that keeping them from “suffering through” the sucky situation they brought upon themselves?
If we’re all completely interconnected in our karma – especially those of us born human at the same time and in the same culture, etc. – then maybe it’s not “his” karma to ripen in the first place. At least not wholly and exclusively. It’s still him that’s going to be late for work, him that will have to pay to fix the tire [or not, because you told him Big-O does it for free, further short-circuiting "our" karma] and him that will bear the fruit of cussing his wife for the ten minutes before you arrived because he told her they needed to spring for a new set.
But now, because of him, you got to do some helping, and maybe the guy behind him that swerved to avoid hitting him woke up just a bit so as to not hit the kid on the bike he would’ve hit five seconds later if he’d continued drifting off to sleep. Who’s karma is all of this? And what am I adding to it all?
May everyone’s boat float effortlessly and to their liking.
#21 by Julie on August 28, 2010 - 8:47 PM
Quote
Can unicorns travel at the speed limit? Or do you end up with the suffering of unicorn tail-gaters?
And I know what to get you guys for Christmas!
Only Buddhas and Bodhisattvas can see the dance of karma and respond from Wisdom. Ordinary beings like myself can get conceptually turned inside out trying to figure it out.
Where does THAT leave us? Back in our seats, working on purification of envy, harsh thoughts and all the rest. And wishing well for others is powerful purification, indeed.
#22 by Angela Tsultrim on August 29, 2010 - 2:45 PM
Quote
Hmmm…If I get a raunchy man offering me a bottle of whiskey sometime around Christmas, I’ll know who to thank, it could be a Guru Rinpoche in disguise, hopefully his unicorn will be working just fine.
Of course we only have our own stuff to work with, and I have no clue what another persons stuff is, but I cannot help but wonder, that if my prayers or wishes have any slight effect on anyone, maybe I can help them out in a faster way. Maybe thinking that way ‘lies the road to madness,’ and I assure everyone I will stick with the tried and true, but just food for thought.
#23 by Julie on August 29, 2010 - 9:14 PM
Quote
Angela, I am now picturing a thangka of Guru Rinpoche riding a unicorn…but have the oddest feeling that isn’t **quite** what you meant.
You’re funny….!